Has the diagnosed attention span of a goldfish

Oct 14

brispeak:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys
porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

I think I like walnut as an insult too cause it looks like a brain but it is not one…

brispeak:

colamania:

spazztastikim:

comebackxkid:

dynastylnoire:

insidehishead:

some of the most sensitive areas of the female body

look at all the regions that are not titties and vagina guys

porn has lied to you. there are other places you can touch that sensitive and pleasurable. 

Oh yeah because I’m just gonna rub her eyes until a she’s horny

Kiss her there you walnut! Use tenderness! Hold her face gently and stroke her eyelids with your thumb and then kiss them! Run your hands down to her neck when you do! THINK!!! Lordie, you have a lot to learn that TOUCH gives more than making her “horny” you’ll drive her nuts doing gentle stuff! It’s trust! It’s care! It’s sensitivity! *smacks your forehead* You want her to be numb in complete ecstasy! I know this shit and I’m ASEXUAL! 

Reblogging purely for the beautiful use of the word “walnut” as an insult.

I think I like walnut as an insult too cause it looks like a brain but it is not one…

(Source: biencorrect, via duendecillita)

geekhyena:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

lumos5001:

sterlingkato:

MEMO: The space bar is important. 

also punctuation placement 

My Girlfriend: I DISAGREE WITH THIS POSTER

Yeah, your fingers can do a lot more than a penis can! It’d be pretty difficult to write an essay with a cock….

geekhyena:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

lumos5001:

sterlingkato:

MEMO: The space bar is important. 

also punctuation placement 

My Girlfriend: I DISAGREE WITH THIS POSTER

Yeah, your fingers can do a lot more than a penis can! It’d be pretty difficult to write an essay with a cock….

(Source: ninjakato)

putahilton:

gay sex is so weird

putahilton:

gay sex is so weird

(Source: omg-humor, via duendecillita)

tastefullyoffensive:

[happletea]

tastefullyoffensive:

[happletea]

(via duendecillita)

My Dad's response to his white co-workers making fun of his accent

(Source: theamericankid, via slime-experiencer)

nivalingreenhow:

when McGonagall finds out that Ginny is pregnant, and that the Weasley and Potter bloodlines will converge, she marks on her calender the day the child will turn 11 and that is the day she retires 

(via miniaturemistakes)

ocdplayer:

iatethepomegranate:

ocdplayer:

serioussarcsm:

ocdplayer:

captainirrayditation:

ocdplayer:

i have an idea in my head where thor is just like. painfully incapable of being cissexist.

like some transphobic reporter asks him abt his sexuality and he’s “i have been attracted to many of your midgardian genders” and “what” and “my current paramor is genderqueer” “are they male or female” “they are neither of those two genders, that is what i have just said!” “oh well what were they born as" "oh no, dear friend, u appear to be confusing genderqueer with genderfluid! the lady mystique assures me that these are two very different things, [extremely extended explanation]"

y/y

oh  my gosh yes

"but what are they biologically?”

"…they are human."

oh my god

"But what is between their legs?!"

"That is not of your concern, but on a good  day, myself!"

IM SCREAMING

        (via tinpanali)

HELP

(Source: autsteve, via spookyvulos)

[video]

swanqueenidiot:

Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right

image

And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS

image

I MEAN

image

IT’S JUST TOO GREAT

image

ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF

(via duendecillita)